tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9411018251306583222024-02-20T22:01:53.879-05:00VagabondLiberal Politics, Parenting, Life, the Universe, and Everything :)LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-35427024556567924252010-08-04T23:12:00.002-04:002010-08-04T23:15:12.078-04:00Mom....Because I needed to save this someplace. Parenting is surreal, sometimes.<br /><br />[Anja's sleeping, I'm at my computer]<br /><br />"Mom!"<br />"Yes, Anja."<br />"Mooom!"<br />"YES, Anja."<br />"Mom, mom... "<br />[I finally get up and walk to her door.]<br />"Yes, Anja?"<br />"<i>Time.</i>"<br />"Time?"<br />"<i><b>TIME.</b></i>"<br />"What about time?"<br /><br /><br />...<br /><br /><br />[she is asleep]LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-36031350752960882342009-04-27T15:52:00.002-04:002009-04-27T15:59:08.300-04:00Hi again....So, I haven't written anything since November. Lame! And I keep feeling like, maybe today will be the day I jump back in... and then I never do. So, here goes nothing, right?<br /><br /><a href=http://www.hsuyun.org/Dharma/zbohy/Literature/essays/yys/84th-problem.html>Some good reading for the day</a><br /><br />I've been doing a lot of thinking/reading/learning lately about how to let go of other people's problems, and how to more constructively deal with my own. That's not to say that helping people is bad, by any means. It's just to say that one can be empathetic and concerned about others to the point where it's detrimental to one's self. I need to keep myself, my needs, my family's needs at the forefront of my concerns more than I generally do. Sometimes, for me to be ok, means not bending over backward to do things that other people would benefit from. It also means letting go...<br /><br /><b>"I am not responsible for fixing everyone else's problems."</b><br /><br />I've been reading <a href=http://www.amazon.com/Tao-Willie-Guide-Happiness-Heart/dp/1592402879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240862251&sr=8-1>The Tao of Willie: A Guide to the Happiness in Your Heart</a> the last few days. Lots of good thoughts and reminders in there, including the lesson to not invest energy in second-guessing past choices. The decisions are made, and you can learn from them and move forward. But kicking yourself is way less productive than taking the lesson and going from there. :)<br /><br />More soon, including some pics from my trip to visit Jess and family last week, some thoughts on music and motivation, plans for the summer, and ruminating on moving (again) and living-space-needs, etc., etc.... <br /><br />*waves*LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-2827444012831826312008-11-04T19:30:00.002-05:002008-11-04T19:34:24.457-05:00What to say?It's a historic night. Approximately 12 million other people have blogged that, nothing new to see here. I feel like I ought to be nervous, but instead it feels like I am just waiting for the inevitable good thing that is coming. I don't even really feel like celebrating, more just like letting my breath out that I've been holding since Bush was appointed... <br /><br />To everyone who has worked so very, very hard to make this happen, to those who have given until they couldn't give any more, to those who have sweated and dreamed and given up money, time, sleep, energy for everything else... Thank You.<br /><br />I cannot wait to live in a country where the color of one's skin is less important than it was yesterday. :D Where every leader has not been a white man. Where hope, hard work, perseverance and belief in ourselves finally beat out fear.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-48064069863692422702008-10-23T14:48:00.002-04:002008-10-23T14:51:46.282-04:00Concerned Educators Speak Out Regarding McCain/Palin Campaign Stoking "The Fires of Racism"Very much worth the read: <a href=http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7558154> Concerned Educators Speak Out Regarding McCain/Palin Campaign Stoking "The Fires of Racism"</a><br /><br />Snippets:<blockquote>This statement is signed by research faculty of communication programs from across the nation. We speak as concerned educators and scholars of communication but do not claim to speak for our home institutions.<br /><br />We wish to express our great concern over unethical communication behavior that threatens to dominate the closing days of the 2008 Presidential campaign.<br />-------------------------<br />It would be misleading, however, to imply that since “both sides do it” there is no qualitative difference worth noting. In recent weeks, the Republican ticket of John McCain and Sarah Palin has engaged in such incendiary mendacity that we must speak out. The purposeful dissemination of messages that a communicator knows to be false and inflammatory is unethical. It is that simple.<br /><br />Making decisions in a democracy requires an informed electorate. The health of our democracy and our ability to make a good decision about who should lead our nation require the very best in communication practices, not the worst.<br />-------------------------<br />We see an effort to color code the election as between an urban, African-American Obama falsely linked to terms like “terrorist,” “unpatriotic,” and “welfare” versus small town, white, “patriotic” Americans like the mythical Joe the Plumber. “Intended” or not, the message is getting through, as reports have emerged of ugly scenes at some Republican rallies and racists hanging Obama in effigy in Oregon and Ohio. In an echo of McCarthyism, Representative Michelle Bachmann has called for investigations into un-American members of Congress, pointing to Senator Obama as the prime suspect. Speaking to warm up the crowd before a McCain rally, Representative Robin Hayes continued the theme: “Folks, there’s a real America, and liberals hate real Americans that work, and accomplish, and achieve, and believe in God.” The official website of the Sacramento County Republican Party compared Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama to terrorist leader Osama bin Laden and urged people to “Waterboard Barack Obama.” The October newsletter of the Chaffey Community Republican Women in California depicts Obama on a food stamp surrounded by a watermelon, ribs, and a bucket of fried chicken. The McCain/Palin campaign has not repudiated such actions taken on its behalf, nor has it done enough to respond to reprehensible behavior at rallies.4 <br /><br /><b>The McCain/Palin campaign and its surrogates, of course, will deny explicit racism. But their purposeful repetition of inflammatory false statements is unethical and stokes the fires of racism.</b></blockquote><br /><br />The fact that even now, in 2008, we still have people living in this country who believe that the color of one's skin ought to be a determining factor in evaluating a person's intelligence, integrity, character and ability to hold public office makes me IRATE. I am intolerant of their intolerance!LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-46471942583306868892008-10-22T19:11:00.007-04:002008-10-26T13:27:01.981-04:00To Do List.Clean the bathroom<br />Organize Anja's room and get rid of a lot of junk<br />Organize filing system in our bedroom<br /><s>Replace light fixture in laundry room</s><br />Clean basement, ugh<br /><s>Take out garbage and recycling and compost</s><br />Pay bills<br />Vaccuum<br />Drop clothes off at Berk's<br />Enter rest of quotes into quote database<br />Go pants shopping<br />Get Anja more socks<br /><s>Buy stuff to make patio</s><br /><s>Buy drinks for people who are making patio</s><br />Figure out about transferring money from Euro bank account<br />Get/make Anja's Halloween costume<br />Order heating oil<br />Order <s>balance bars and</s> contact lenses and contact solution<br />Order fair-trade coffee pods<br /><br /><br /><u>Reading List</u> <br />1 issue National Geographic<br />3 issues Rolling Stone<br />2 books on combat-related PTSD<br />anxiety workbook<br />Bartimäus<br />The Evolution of Language<br /><a href=http://craphound.com/littlebrother/Cory_Doctorow_-_Little_Brother.pdf>Little Brother</a><br />Lapham's Quarterly<br /><br />I need more hours in the day... failing that, more days in the week. Failing that... I guess I just keep slipping further behind. /sighLynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-6109695298240267082008-10-20T12:06:00.003-04:002008-10-20T12:11:13.223-04:00Sarah Palin makes me angry.I know, it's been weeks again since I've written anything. I'm-a-gonna work on it, promise. :) <br /><br />Anyway, I just came across <a href=http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2008/oct/03/sarah.palin.debate.feminism>this article</a>. It's a couple weeks old, but it sums up so much of what's wrong with Palin as a serious political candidate, and how insulting her selection is, to women in this country. Intelligent women, who know they could do a better job than she is doing. <br /><br />From the article:<blockquote>At least three times last night, Sarah Palin, the adorable, preposterous vice-presidential candidate, winked at the audience. Had a male candidate with a similar reputation for attractive vapidity made such a brazen attempt to flirt his way into the good graces of the voting public, it would have universally noted, discussed and mocked. Palin, however, has single-handedly so lowered the standards both for female candidates and American political discourse that, with her newfound ability to speak in more-or-less full sentences, she is now deemed to have performed acceptably last night.<br /><br />........<br /><br />In pronouncing upon a debate, they don't try and determine whether a candidate's responses correspond to existing reality, or whether he or she is capable of talking about subjects such as the deregulation of the financial markets or the devolution of the war in Afghanistan. The criteria are far more vaporous. In this case, it was whether Palin could avoid utterly humiliating herself for 90 minutes, and whether urbane commentators would believe that she had connected to a public that they see as ignorant and sentimental. For the Alaska governor, mission accomplished. <br /><br />........<br /><br />It's worth reading the transcript of the encounter, where it becomes clearer how bizarre much of what she said was. Here, for example, is how she responded to Biden's comments about how the middle class has been short-changed during the Bush administration, and how McCain will continue Bush's policies:<br /><blockquote>Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced [sic] your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education, and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? ... My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate.</blockquote></blockquote><br /><br />I mean, seriously. What the fuck. She makes no sense, she tries to rely on charm, and she manages to make an awful lot of people feel both angry and insulted, all at the same time. Ugh.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-25944078049961742842008-09-24T14:10:00.003-04:002008-09-24T14:18:14.908-04:00McCain and Obama on the economy3 minutes - the difference is striking. Who's working on a plan, and who's just campaigning? <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xU9YEKLZuJ0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xU9YEKLZuJ0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />McCain thinks *Obama* needs to admit to his part in these problems?? McCain, who's been in cahoots with the BFEE and the Keating Five, etc., etc., ad nauseum!? *bangs head on wall*LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-14860278550248088282008-09-24T10:32:00.002-04:002008-09-24T10:45:51.891-04:00Homeland Security testing *pre*-crime detector?<a href=http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/09/23/1538231>Link to story on Slashdot</a><br /><br />This is so ridiculous. The false positive rate is going to be crazy, there are so many issues with it, in concept... I mean, is it worth screening people for suspicious activity? Sure, they have people do that at airports in more violence-prone parts of the world, and it works. But to have a machine that's supposed to be able to, and isn't somehow going to pick up all the people who are nervous about flying, worried about their kids/spouse/dogs/etc., who are having an affair on their business trip, who have GAD, etc., etc., etc. And as someone stated in the /. comments, if you have a 99.9% false positive rate, you're just going to start waving people through, and basically profiling within the positives. Which can be gotten around, as is also talked about.<br /><br />In a word... Lame.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-42580212622026999252008-09-22T14:07:00.002-04:002008-09-22T14:09:26.964-04:00700 Billion *MORE* dollars?! Are you kidding?<br><a href=http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/21/9322/74248/245/602838>Three Times is Enemy Action</a><br><br /><br /><blockquote>This week, the Bush administration announced the beginnings of a plan to salvage what remains of the financial markets. At first glance, it appears that the plan will consist mainly of creating a kind of "garbage pit," a fund or group of funds -- cousins of the Resolution Trust that was created during the S&L crisis -- into which those people who have dabbled in bad debts can toss their problems. Only this time the cost to the taxpayers is at least $700 billion... and a big bite out of representative democracy.</blockquote><br /><br />Longish, but worth the read, to get a better feel of how we got to where we are... /sighLynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-60852042760450621242008-09-19T18:06:00.001-04:002008-09-19T18:07:40.344-04:00EarlG News: Media Announces Bailout Of McCain Campaign<a href=http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7120032>EarlG strikes again!</a><br /><br /><blockquote>WASHINGTON, DC -- Acting to avert a possible crisis in the U.S. presidential election, the media today announced a bailout of Sen John McCain's (R-AZ) campaign. Cable news commentators scrambled to prop up the Senator's sagging poll numbers Friday as the fast-disappearing dream of a nail-biting horse-race threatened to bring down America's entire punditry system.<br /><br />A senior CNN political analyst speaking on condition of anonymity said that the collapse of McCain's campaign could prove disastrous to the pundit industry. "A horse-race is vital to our bottom line," he said. "Without neck-and-neck poll numbers we can't maintain an air of suspense right up to election day, and our ratings will suffer. I could be out of a job by this time next week." <br /><br />"These are desperate times, and we're going to take unprecedented action to bring the polls back into line with our preferred projections," said another anonymous insider. "We'll be ignoring all of McCain's gaffes on foreign policy matters and covering up his tremendous flip-flops on the economy. Then we'll focus tightly on polls which show the closest possible race between the two candidates." <br /><br />If the first part of the media's emergency bailout fails to turn things around industry insiders say they could resort to more drastic measures, such as taking more of Michelle Obama's comments out of context to gin up another false controversy about her patriotism, or creating additional rumors about Barack Obama's religion. An anonymous source at Fox News revealed, "At this point nothing is off the table."<br /><br />Reaction to the announcement was mixed, with many members of the public remaining skeptical. "Isn't the media supposed to tell us what's actually happening in the world, as opposed to cherry-picking stories in order to create a narrative that boosts their ratings and advertising revenue?" asked Bob Jenkins, 52, a mechanic from Harrisburg, Penn.<br /><br />Despite the media's best efforts, John McCain's campaign has teetered on the brink of collapse ever since he selected a clueless moosehunter as his running mate.</blockquote><br /><br />It kills me that the best reporting, at this point, is the satire!! So true...LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-59940626687991547242008-09-17T11:22:00.002-04:002008-09-17T11:38:23.193-04:00The hardest part? Your favorite part?So, I recently started doing a thing with Anja, right before she goes to sleep at night. I ask her what the hardest part of her day was, and what her favorite part was. It's both a neat way to get insights into the way that she sees her life (that is, she surprises me sometimes with her answers!), and a good way to get her in the habit of looking at both the negative and positive things that are going on... she's recently started doing the same thing to me, which is awesome. Sometimes, my 'real' answers aren't 5-year-old appropriate, so I modify them or come up with alternatives, but it does get *me* thinking, too... And apparently, this idea is a little bit contagious, so I'm going to put it on here and make it even more viral, hehe. :)<br /><br />Yesterday's hardest thing: getting very emotional after leaving John's AS assessment, and the negative repercussions of that for the next 20 minutes<br /><br />Yesterday's favorite thing: toss-up between lunch with John at this kick-ass bar in Middletown, where you could just kind of forget the world, and the time we spent together after Anja went to bed :)<br /><br /><br /><a href=http://www.elicannons.com/about.html>Here's the link to the bar</a> we went to... the site describes it as:<br /><blockquote>"Saving the Ales" since 1994, Eli Cannon's Tap Room is committed to diversity. Thirty-Six (36) REAL ALES on tap rotating constantly to ensure freshness and revolutionary selection. <br /><br />The atmosphere is easy: <b>Irish / English Pub / American Trailer Park Fusion</b><br />Barber chairs, theater seats, leather couches and chairs are just a few of the vehicles to chill on.</blockquote><br />This is probably the best bar I've been to in the U.S., in terms of feeling instantly comfortable there and enjoying the food and drink and atmosphere. Willi Brew pub may have better food, that'll have to wait to see. It does make me wish that Middletown weren't <b>quite</b> so far away... it's a bit harder to stumble home from there, hehe :DLynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-79618139113128014512008-09-15T13:46:00.004-04:002008-09-15T14:21:36.519-04:00Focus on the positive.A good friend had suggested to me recently that I make an attempt to focus on the positive and fun things that are still going on, and post about them here... so I thought I'd have a try at that.<br /><br />Saturday John and Rob went to play paintball, and Anja and I met my dad for lunch at Beach Pond, at the border of CT/RI on 165. We were sitting next to the pond and a couple guys came down to launch a canoe for some fishing... Anja, of course, is chatting them up, asking questions, offering to help push them into the water in the canoe (man, was <i>that</i> cute to watch her try!). One guy was really nice and friendly, and ended up offering her (and us!) some buffalo jerkey from... Montana, I think? It was pretty tasty, although I wish we could have tried the peppered one he said he had. Had a nice lunch with dad and then took a very tired Anja home... we both napped for about 2 hours. :)<br /><br />Yesterday was good, too... John went to Home Despot and got the stuff to build a woodshed so that we can stockpile our cord of wood for ongoing fires during the winter. I'm really impressed with how well it came out... I helped a bit and so did Rob, and it's done! Now to stack all the wood into it tomorrow night. :) We ended up having bbq dinner with Rob and Toni and Mike and Amy, and it was excellent. Thanks for sharing, guys! Bacon-wrapped chicken with honey-soy marinade, and grilled garlic. YUM. We all hung out around the fire until way, way too late... Toni and I probably went to bed around 1:30. I'm very glad to have you guys living upstairs! :D<br /><br /><blockquote>"Uncertainty is the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom." <br /><br />"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”<br /><br />"Our thinking and our behaviour are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore fear-based.”<br /><br />"The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers."<br /><br />-Deepak Chopra <br /></blockquote><br /><br />I think I need to read more of his stuff, these days...LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-13491298143445778532008-09-08T16:42:00.003-04:002008-09-15T13:45:53.346-04:00Going Vagabondish...No, not me, John.<br /><br />The big thing that's going on right now is that John quit his job (he's been wanting and needing to do that for awhile) and he's taking off for a couple months, going to travel around, figure out what he wants out of life/relationships/etc... this is kind of a very exciting and terribly scary thing, all wrapped up in one long trip.<br /><br />We are trying to go into it with as few expectations as possible, and as much flexibility as can be given. It looks like it will be feasible for it to be at least two months, maybe more if possible and he wants to... <br /><br />Where he will end up in terms of life and our relationship, and where I will wind up in terms of the same, is up in the air right now. He needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life, what drives him, what would make him feel happy and satisfied, and where/how/if I fit into that picture. <br /><br />So, if you're out there reading and you've been wondering what's up with me, that's a huge part of what's going on. I'm about to leap into single parenting, and running the household entirely by myself for awhile. Not to mention figuring out my own emotional state, needs, desires, etc. There's so much too this, but it's too much to commit all to writing right now. Suffice it to say that I'm sick of talking about it, but I can't think about anything else, lately...LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-41533521854695274932008-08-24T00:46:00.004-04:002008-08-24T00:53:49.318-04:00"Sometimes I think that I'm breaking down...And sometimes I think that I'm fine."<br /><br />Can't remember who the quote's from and I'm too lazy to look it up in my green book. Pretty soon I'm going to have an online DB for all my quotes though, great courtesy of John B. Thanks, man :D<br /><br />I'm in a funk tonight, and I don't know why. I hate feeling like this... life is good, better even than it's maybe ever been in many ways. There's positive change going on in so many ways, and I'm too tired to even write about it. I think maybe that's really the root of it tonight, needing more sleep... wish I'd been able to get a nap in today. Have a much harder time laughing at myself, and laughing at the dumb shit that guys think and do sometimes, when I'm this tired. Ah well, I'll sleep when I'm dead, right? :) <br /><br />I think maybe I shouldn't post this, but ah well. There's a cat trying to lick my face while I'm typing, that's awfully helpful, lol. <br /><br />I think perhaps I'll go for a walk... <br /><br />Peace.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-26518614881338405422008-08-06T10:42:00.003-04:002008-08-06T11:00:12.137-04:00So.... um. Yeah.It's been a long-ass time since I've written anything. Life has been crazy and busy and emotional, and I haven't much felt like writing. I have half a post about Thoreau that's been sitting in my drafts for about 6 weeks now. I want to finish it, I really do! But it seems there is, lately, always something more urgent.<br /><br />What needs to get written about? We're not moving, that's probably the biggest concrete piece. (The rest is harder-to-define emotional stuff, etc.) We decided that there were too many good people and too much cool stuff here to be involved in, and that we were counting down how many times we had left here to do things, instead of counting down toward being able to do things in Germany. And while there are absolutely things that I mourn about not going, things that I was really looking forward to, I have to say that my overall feeling has really been relief to make that decision. <br /><br />So, on to plan B, which is to send John back to UConn to get his master's, starting in the spring... he's so unhappy at work, and they treat him like a monkey. He needs either a job or a research position or something that lets him use his intelligence creatively, solving problems. So we're headed up to UConn today to talk to one of my former profs, get a better feel for what the grad program looks like, what TA'ing is like, etc., etc. I got a 1/2 comp day for work, whee!! <br /><br />That's the really short version, but I'm not too motivated... perhaps there will be more, and pictures, to follow soon. :)<br /><br />Peace.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-78941913470972004532008-06-11T20:46:00.002-04:002008-06-11T21:29:28.471-04:00Fire and water.<a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0866.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0866.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Fire.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0936.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0936.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />And water.<br /><br />*******************************<br /><br />It's been a very interesting and intense last week for me, for John, for us. We've each learned things about ourselves, things at a very fundamental and personal level. Neither of us is who we were a week ago, in a very positive way.<br /><br />It's strange to think that maybe we're really going through what story-tellers are wont to call a "turning point" or some such. A sea change. A transformation. A revelation. Whatever name it takes, it is a very intense, emotional, confusing, and fantastic thing to go through. The amount of joy and love, fear, and awe that I have felt in the last week is almost unfathomable to me.<br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0871.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0871.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Fire.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0947.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0947.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />And water.<br /><br />*******************************<br /><br />Hope balances fear. Chase and retreat. Longing for something makes it the best gift. Some changes are only wrought through waiting, and something that feels too right to be called chance.<br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0911.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0911.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />Fire.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0957.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0957.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br /><br />And water.<br /><br />*******************************<br /><br />To John, thank you for being the best friend a woman could want, my confidant, the one who I can take down all the masks for, and for coming with me on this ride. I love you.<br /><br />To the two other people who have been the catalysts, and supported this change.... thank you. I love you guys, too.<br /><br />Laugh at yourself and love people. It makes everything else worth it.<br /><br /><a href="http://s264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/?action=view¤t=DSC_0965mod.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii168/LynzMBlog/FireAndWater/DSC_0965mod.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-82246245348321770062008-06-03T23:08:00.003-04:002008-07-17T14:00:19.929-04:00The Pale Blue Dot - everyone you know, everything you've experiencedSo life has been crazy and busy and excellent, and I apologize for the (usual) lack of posting... there has been lots of music playing, and music listening. There has been good food, fire, and excellent company. There has been climbing! There has been laughing until 4 in the morning, and perching by a stream to watch Anja enjoy the carefree time of throwing stuff in the water, just like any kid does. And next weekend? The beach. :D Dare I say how good this all is, for risk of jinxing it? Yes, I think I do!<br /><br />Anyway, John and I watched a really fascinating video together <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfwY2TNehw>based on Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot</a>. <br /><br /><blockquote><b>The Pale Blue Dot</b><br>On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "supreme leader", every "superstar," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.</blockquote><br />What a reminder of how small and insignificant we truly are. That each of us worries and struggles and stresses, loves and hates and fears, and yet we are all so tiny when we look at ourselves in the mirror of the universe. For me, it's a strong reminder to let more things, and more worry, go by. To live in the moment, to do more of the things I want to do, to not overestimate the importance of myself, of politics, heck, even of saving the planet. The planet will survive, it's our own species and our own creature comforts that we truly fear losing. We fear our own suffering, and rightly so, but in the grand scheme of the universe? We are so, so small.<br /><br />Peace to you.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-36944854390315360512008-05-23T14:00:00.002-04:002008-05-23T14:02:53.799-04:00Great article on German-American interaction and languageI came across a <a href=http://langlab.uta.edu/german/personal/rings/Americans.And.Germans/Intro.html>great article</a> on the BackReaction site (linked at right) about the interactions between Germans and Americans specifically (and other cultures, more generally), and about how our expectations and our language get in the way of truly understanding each other's intentions. Now I want to read the book that the article is taken from! (Not to mention, spend a while catching up on this blog, it's fascinating!)LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-67979263643689228962008-05-23T11:22:00.002-04:002008-05-23T11:34:47.814-04:00Banjo pickin' girl...A friend asked me the other day about banjo playing, and I wrote up a bunch of stuff, so thought I'd post it here, too...<br /><br />I've got about 4 songs I feel reasonably comfortable playing, and 6 more or so that I'm working on. <br /><br />I played violin from the time I was 5-13 officially, then got to high school and we didn't have an orchestra, so I stopped playing. :( I wish I'd kept it up, and I wish I'd learned cello, too! We had a piano growing up, so I learned to play chords on there and would play chords and melody to sing along with (musicals, Simon and Garfunkle, 60s and 70s pop music...). I sang in middle school and really took it up more seriously in high school, auditioning for some regional groups and having a blast... then I got to college and didn't have time for choir. :( So performance music pretty much stopped for me at that point, sadly, except for one semester in Germany. <br /><br />If you remember the dance class I was taking, the same woman I took that with is who I'm taking banjo with. It's going well, the violin background really helps, as does the ability to read music and to tune a stringed musical instrument (even easier with frets!). She said I'm starting out about 6 months ahead of the curve, which is good to hear. :) Playing is getting to be somewhat more fun but still challenging. I've been doing one 1-hour lesson/month of banjo and about a 1/2-hour of dance, but that might change (more on that below). <br /><br />I took John and Anja to the Rhode Island folk festival two weekends ago, and John got to play some bass, and I got to try out a mountain dulcimer. He was so excited to be playing again, that he went on Craig's list and found a used acoustic bass and now we're having kitchen music jams, I love it! I'm also going to borrow a dulcimer from Aubrey since I really enjoyed playing it so much at the folk festival (so easy, and instant gratification!) and I'll probably do dulcimer lessons in place of dance lessons, for a while. (And I did do this, got the dulcimer from her yesterday and some music to work on!)<br /><br />I'd love to go more often but it's an hour away, and she's wicked busy, and lessons are expensive. So for now, I'll keep up with that, plus a bunch of us from class (dancers and musicians) are meeting up in a barn every other Tuesday for a dance party and music jam. Anja runs around and chases the chickens and we dance and play music and sing folk stuff and sea shanties. Man, why is all this good stuff happening right as we're getting ready to move?! <br /><br />Also, you know the secret I'm learning? If you have one or two good players, and 5-6 other people who can play 4 chords (D, C, F, G) or notes, you can play folk music in a group! LOL - Um, also if you can hit a drum in time with the rhythm. Hee. <br /><br />Seriously, dulcimer is a great string to start on... you can pick it up and be making music in 5 minutes. Instant gratification! And it seems like most folk musicians are very willing to put up with newbies and help you learn/find instruments/etc. <br /><br />Anyway, some videos (not of me) if you're interested... <br /><br />Am working on this: <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJVqo1ip6aI>Banjo vid</a> and <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc4DTZ47_Pk>another banjo vid</a> <br /><br />Aubrey dancing: <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TtuFMd2Up4>Flatfooting</a> and <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teB_F6FtUno>more flatfooting</a> <br /><br />Some dulcimer: <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1oMX_y89jw>mountain dulcimer</a> and <a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKR1xGng2K4>more dulcimer</a>LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-12906488456250072232008-05-23T11:17:00.002-04:002008-05-23T11:22:28.956-04:00It's like a lovely rollercoaster...I won't need a car!<br />But I won't have a car in the February sleet.<br /><br />I'll get to recycle almost everything!<br />But I'll probably get in trouble if I screw it up.<br /><br />I'll get to learn a lot of German at work and via Anja at school!<br />But it'll be much harder to express my thoughts.<br /><br />Back and forth and back and forth, on so many thoughts, lately. I'm psyched but scared... I suppose that's how it has to be, though, right? I think a lot of it is worry about embarassing myself at work, or in front of other parents. It's one thing to be a student, and another thing to function as an adult with these kind of responsibilities! Plus we're just getting involved in all of this really fantastic music stuff lately, which I know I'm going to miss... oy.LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-29494792116381964432008-05-19T23:36:00.000-04:002008-05-19T23:38:18.535-04:00Just like college, man.Sometimes I really enjoy my job, and other times...<br /><br />Abused my brain last night? Check.<br />Got less than 5 hours' sleep? Check.<br />Called in to rescue someone else's work? Check.<br />Brewed third pot of coffee today? Check.<br />Snacks? Check.<br /><br />Staying up waaaaay too fucking late trying to keep my brain functional and pay attention to details all the while wishing I could just. go. to. sleep? <br /><br />Check.<br /><br />/sighLynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-78874120711649934212008-05-14T22:08:00.002-04:002008-05-14T22:32:45.590-04:00Borrowed thoughts on fear and anxiety.Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.<br />-- Plato<br /><br />Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.<br />-- Arthur Somers Roche<br /><br />Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile... initially scared me to death.<br />-- Betty Bender<br /><br />It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.<br />-- Unknown<br /><br />It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.<br />-- Charles Haddon Spurgeon<br /><br />Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of "crackpot" than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.<br />-- Thomas J. Watson<br /><br />Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.<br />-- Virgil Thomson<br /><br />Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.<br />-- Louis E. Boone<br /><br />Anne Frank:<br /> The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.<br /><br />Gay Hendricks:<br /> One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.<br /><br />Marianne Williamson:<br /> And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.<br /><br />If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.<br />-Henry David Thoreau<br /><br />We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.<br />-John F. Kennedy<br /><br />Swedish Proverb<br />Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.<br /><br />"How do you know so much about everything?" was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; and the answer was "By never being afraid or ashamed to ask questions as to anything of which I was ignorant." Lord Billingsley<br /><br />"To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions." Deepak K. Chopra<br /><br />"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward." Robyn DavidsonLynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-28674123143192995282008-05-13T13:20:00.000-04:002008-05-23T11:34:47.815-04:00Woo-hoo! I won something!!I almost never win raffles... I know that that's statistically normal, but you know how some people seem to always win? I won a raffle for the first time this past December at my holiday work party. Anyway, that's not the fun part.<br /><br />On Saturday, we went to the Rhode Island folk festival... music, dancing, and more music. It was wicked fun! Anyway, I bought 6 raffle tickets, and put them all in the bucket to win 25 or 30 folk CDs. Figured hey, what the heck, 30 CDs for $5 seems like a good deal to me.<br /><br />Got a voice mail today that I did win them! WOO-HOO!!! I'm learning banjo and about to start up with mountain dulcimer, so not only will these be great to listen to, but there's a lot in there to learn from, too!LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-3045108756552654242008-05-12T11:05:00.003-04:002008-05-12T13:26:53.910-04:00Things on my mind.I need to type this all out or I might go more nutty than I already am...<br /><br /><DL><br /><DT><STRONG>School</STRONG><br /><DD>I'm hoping we can get Anja into a Montessori school. Really, <strong>really</strong> hoping. It'd be one less thing for her to acclimate to, and I feel like it's really important in terms of influencing who she is and how she develops. I know that for a lot of schools the registration was much earlier in the year, so I'm hoping our relocation agent can help us negotiate placement, if any schools are flexible enough to do that, in June/July. Getting this settled will make me feel SO much better about the whole move. Hugely.<br /><DT><STRONG>Housing</STRONG><br /><DD>We're looking at 2-2.5 bedroom places, but there so many factors to consider. Cost is obviously one. Proximity to our work locations and to school for Anja. Proximity to a park and public transporation (that's mandatory, since we won't have a vehicle, to be near something. Ideally U-Bahn or S-Bahn, or maybe even tram. If all else was perfect except this, bus.) Desire to live in a place that doesn't just feel like a group of white boxes tacked together, and has some character. We'd love to have some lawn, and a balcony. The need to find a place that has a kitchen already built in (EBK) and doesn't cost an arm and a leg to keep... oh, and that accepts pets. Are we nuts to think we'll find this? I hope our relo agent is FANTASTIC.<br /><DT><STRONG>John finding a job</STRONG><br /><DD>Anybody reading this know anybody in Munich who's looking to hire an excellent Entwicklungsingenieur? (R&D engineer)? Once my salary is figured out and John has a job and salary figured out, we'll have a much easier time of narrowing down apartments, partially based on cost, but also locations. This piece, along with school for Anja, are the two that are on my mind the most.<br /></DL><br /><br />There are just a million things on my mind, lately, though. Those are the big ones. Other ones include:<br /><UL><br /><LI>finding a good endocrinologist<br /><LI>making sure to have enough diabetes supplies for a month or two in the beginning<br /><LI>buying other meds/vitamins/etc. ahead of time in bulk to ship over with our stuff<br /><LI>how to handle the selling/rental of our house, and corresponding lack of place to live during that time<br /><LI>how to handle the selling/shipping of our household goods, and corresponding lack of stuff after everything ships/sells/etc<br /><LI>how to handle the selling of our cars, and renting cars after that, to minimize cost and stress<br /><LI>who's going to watch our cats for the month or two until we're ready to have them shipped over?<br /><LI>finding trustworthy babysitters that don't cost an arm and a leg, babysitting co-ops via school?<br /><LI>when to hold our tag sale, what to do with everything that doesn't sell<br /><LI>managing our household food needs after the move - my need for wheat-free, Anja's sensitivity to cow's milk, finding a place to buy good, local organic produce and goods, getting into the pattern of how to grocery shop in small batches<br /><LI>getting involved with some music communities, me for banjo and dance, Anja for singing, John for bass<br /><LI>figuring out how to transport all this great free or cheap furniture that we won't have a truck for?<br /><LI>finding time this summer to make it to the beach as much as possible, and balancing that with all the stress mentioned above<br /></UL><br /><br />Edited to add, I missed a few...<br /><UL><br /><LI>Granting my dad power-of-attorney so that someone here has that<br /><LI>writing official wills, just in case<br /><LI>figuring out automatic bill pay for student loans via our EuroBank setup<br /><LI>to keep or get rid of our local bank acct?<br /><LI>letting all relevant financial institutions know our new address, once we have one, and figuring out billpay for CC, etc.<br /></UL><br /><br />I'm sure there are still more, of course. Wheeee!LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-941101825130658322.post-89349783375634401552008-05-06T10:23:00.002-04:002008-05-06T10:29:25.594-04:00Monetary FreakoutOr, <b>$7,350?!</b> Are you freaking kidding me??<br /><br />So, that was the approximate estimate we got... we had someone come out a couple weeks ago to do a cost assessment for the transportation of our stuff to Munich. Bear in mind that we have a 900 sq. ft. house, and a lot of stuff *isn't* going. I told the guy who came to do the assessment that I'd like to do two appraisals, one including the cost of our furniture and one not, as we're more than willing to replace, second-hand, virtually everything in the house. He assured me that it was more cost-effective to ship stuff. I don't believe it.<br /><br />They came back today with the estimate of 3,000 lbs of stuff, a 20' box, and a cost of $7350!! There is no WAY that we could not replace all of our furniture, used, for waaaay less than that cost! I wrote back to ask for either a re-estimate, excluding large furniture, or an itemized estimate so that we can determine what's "worth it" to take, and what's overhead. <br /><br />We are already planning to leave a lot of books with my mom... we'd sell our furniture and buy used stuff over there, since we're not that attached to anything, and we're planning on staying there for at least two years. Poor John, he got the brunt of my outrage at this... but then, he knows I need to freak out about things for a couple hours and then I'll calm down and we'll figure out how to handle it. And this is just one company, we will of course be getting more estimates. <br /><br />I know that we will find a way to make it work. Honestly, I'd be willing to move with pretty much what fits on our backs and a couple extra suitcases that we paid the airline fees on. I've done it before. :) We could put more of our stuff into Rubbermaid totes to store with my mom, things like books and mementos and things that if we moved back, we wouldn't have missed for the two years, but aren't ready to part with, you know? <br /><br />But I think we're going to end up storing more stuff than we'd originally intended, either with my mom or in a storage unit. Furniture we're not taking, we'll sell, as we're not really attached to it. I *like* our bed, but it's from Ikea, and we could easily replace it with the same or similar, or I'd learn to like something else. Really, the stuff I care about taking: clothes for each season (favorites, give the rest to goodwill), shoes that I really like, some favorite books, my pottery for the kitchen, artwork that we own, some amount of pictures, some movies, a bunch of music, and a bunch of Anja's toys and stuff so that she can feel more comfortable with the move... the rest of it, I'm willing to part with for a couple years, or for good, really. The things I missed, living there last time, were really not material things that can be packed, more like foods and places and such. I need to remind myself of that. I also need to get more comfortable with just giving stuff away to get *rid* of it, instead of trying to wring money out of everything, as I'll make myself crazy that way!<br /><br />A couple friends also suggested splitting the cost of a container with someone else, if we cannot get a smaller container, so that's something else to keep in mind... whee!<br /><br />In happy news, banjo playing is going well, and I have every-other-Tuesday dance party tonight!!LynzMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13066248502454356875noreply@blogger.com3